If you’re the Hallmark-Christmas-movie-in-July type of person or can’t stand the holidays, either way, the holidays are in sight and we’re just ending election season. In addition to the stresses of caring for a loved one and keeping the spirit of the holidays alive for your kids (during Covid), now you’re thinking about gifts you have to get for all of them. Did I mention Covid?
For kids, their lists will go on (and on, and on…), but when you have a loved one who can’t tell you what they want, it just becomes another to-do on the never-ending checklist. So what do you get for people who have dementia? Here are some factors to look at:
- Their likes and dislikes
- What they need now
You may look at this and go “duh!’, but so many people look at their dementia-plagued parent and have no idea what to get them. Maybe it’s because their likes and dislikes may have changed or they don’t exactly know what they need for them.
Their likes and dislikes
There is a very high probability that your loved one is not able to tell you what they do and do not like anymore. Being able to recall what made them happy back then should give you a pretty good indicator of what they will like now.
Here in Wisconsin, it’s all about Packer Nation. You will find very few Wisconsinites who are not Packer fans (My family being a few of them), and they (we) generally won’t talk about it for fear of retribution! So if you have a mom or dad who is an avid football fan, get them a blanket with their team’s emblem! Do they love tending to indoor gardens? Go ahead and buy the damn plant! Whatever they love that is safe for them and easy on your patience, spoil them a little!
What They Need Now
There are so many things that will change for those you love who have dementia. Sometimes, there will be a deluge of changes, or changes might come over a much longer span of time. With those changes come new needs and a need for new items that you may not have thought of before.
As an example, I never understood why people needed or wanted “house shoes”. I thought it was pretty silly, to be honest.
And then I turned 30. And my feet started hurting more.
I then understood people’s appreciation for the house shoe.
Things to consider when you’re buying new items for your loved one are:
- How they perform their ADLs (Activities of Daily Living)
- Their gait pattern, or how they walk
- Their need for additional layers
With all of those things to consider, here are great items that you can get your loved one with dementia for the holidays
A Weighted Blanket
Ok, so this is what I’M asking for for Christmas! Weighted blankets have been known to decrease stress and anxiety in all age groups and all cognitive statuses. According to Pennmedicine.org, “A weighted blanket uses “pressure therapy” — using a calm-inducing amount of pressure on your entire body, similar to the feeling of being hugged, swaddled, stroked, or held.
”Hello! I think we all need one of these!
The easiest way to pick out a weighted blanket is to get one that’s 10% of their body weight. If Dad is around 200 lbs, then you would get the 20 pound blanket. The blankets typically come between 10 and 25 pounds.
If you feel like this is a little too heavy for your loved one, they also have them in children’s sizes, or a lap mat mat work for them as well, it just won’t quite have the warming quality you would normally get in a blanket.
House shoes!
I told you that I get what the commotion is about now!
For a house shoe, they should have a rubber sole, and if you can find one with a non-slip sole, that’s even better! If your mom or dad are still walking around well, you can get them a slipper that has no back on it. If they are starting to have a more shuffled gait, however, having an open backed house shoe may be more of a fall risk than not having one, so I would recommend a shoe that goes up to their ankle.
Their favorite candy or chocolate
This is a bit of an easy one, but one of the last taste sensations to leave us is our sweet taste. Did you notice early on in their disease process, when they would still shop for themselves, that they would have a cart-load of cookies instead of healthier foods? My Grandma’s go-to was pie, and she would get 2 or 3 pies at a time! I can’t say I blame her, pie is dang delicious!
Some things to consider when treating your loved one to their favorite treats:
- Make sure the consistency of the candy is something they can tolerate. If they have to have a more chopped or ground consistency diet, have you checked if they have your Mom’s favorite candy in an ice cream? If not, chop them into smaller pieces so they are able to enjoy it with ease!
- Some people are very strict with diets such as diabetic diets or heart healthy diets. My personal approach is one of optimistic realism: they most likely will not outlast the disease, so give ‘em the damn Reese’s!
Sorry, not sorry, as Reese’s slogan says.
Dementia Clock
This doesn’t seem super exciting, but for those family members who are still able to read and comprehend, these clocks could be literal life savers!
If your Mom gets up in the middle of the night thinking that she missed the bus for school or work or wherever, she would be able to look at the clock, read that it’s 2 or 3 in the morning (most clocks also have the “Goodnight” or “Good Morning” feature as well), and go back to sleep. It may actually save her life if she wanted to leave the house and there was extreme weather.
I have two options here. If your loved one is still living at their own home and not currently living with you, try this clock. It’s a little more expensive, but it has a TON of cool features! If your loved one is now living with you for fear of leaving the house in the middle of the night, I would recommend this clock.
And because this gift is not super exciting, maybe pair it with that chocolate we talked about earlier!
Facebook Portal
Now THIS is a gadget! One of my residents has it, and if your loved one is still able to press a few buttons in a progression, or you are able to help them with this device, it’s an amazing way for them to keep up with friends or family that may be across the country.
Please be mindful of the cognitive capacity that your mom or dad has now, because this can either be a great tool or something that could confuse them or make them upset. As their caregiver, it’s up to you to make that call.
It zooms left right, in and out to fit whoever in is the frame, and if your loved one has a little anxiety and tends to walk around, the portal will be able to set them in the frame in real time!
There are a few different options that are available, a more affordable and more expensive option. They are both great options for your loved one to connect with you or their friends and family.
Option #6: Don’t do gifts!
This could be a strange option for some (sacrilege for others) , but if it’s better for you to not do presents with your loved one, then don’t do it! There is so much pressure around the holidays, it would be one less thing for you to do and buy. Maybe you’re at the stage of dementia where your loved one won’t know it’s that time of year anyway.
That’s rhetorical.
So there you have it! These are the five great gifts for your mom or dad for the holidays that they need or will love. There are new dementia-friendly options that are coming up on the market all the time, have you found something cool? What works for your family?
Till’ next time,
